“Am I a good mother?” or “Do I do this ‘father thing’ well enough?”
To love your child does not mean saying “Yes“ to everything. It actually means saying “No“ when necessary. Saying “Yes“, when you know you would need to say “No”, is a sign of your fear of rejection, not being loved, becoming less popular in your kid’s eyes, starting an argument and so on.
Your child and not your life-partner or best friend
Remember, it’s your child and not your life-partner or best friend. Being a parent puts you above all these. You need to say “No” at times because you care. You need to risk your opinion to get rejected because it will happen now and then anyway. You need to be ready to hear words of critique, aware that your child doesn’t love you any less but expresses her/his own opinion. You will be at times not popular at all due to taking a stand, being consequent, sticking to your integrity or not giving in. By that, however, you give your child a clear message and set an example of some values being non-negotiable.
You can’t avoid arguments with your children, as they try to make their opinion heard and respected or just test how solid their world is by trying to cross the boundaries, which need to be firm to make kids feel safe, even if that seems to be a paradox at times.
A Conscious Parent
You are more than a good friend, you are more than a guardian, you are more than a provider, more than a cheerleader, more than a well-wisher. You are a living example. A source of unconditional love for who they are, no matter what they do. Living feedback to their behaviour and actions. Source of acknowledgment. A space of safety and positive reinforcement. A place of growth.
You are a parent. A place that the beautiful raw diamonds, your children, can rub against to get polished and shine in their full beauty and magnificence. To make them grow up as self-conscious, powerful and compassionate individuals, you need to stand there tall and strong yourself, which is not always easy as your own wounded Inner Child might get into the way.
“Your role as a parent? Let them soar! Allow them to be themselves. Cultivate lightness and playfulness. Teach them to always bounce back. To see your children for who they are and love them unconditionally as they are, you need to remove your expectations towards them, and love your own Inner Child equally much.”
How can we, the emotional humans, become conscious parents?
You want to be a great parent and give your kids the best. You might feel overwhelmed by trying to bridge reason and love, trying to figure out what is really best for them. You might be so busy giving them what you think they need, that you miss their heart’s desires or don’t acknowledge their innate gifts. You maybe doubt yourself at times. When overwhelmed by life events you might happen to pass your frustrations, disappointment or anger onto them, which sends you off in bouts of shame a moment later. You may feel guilty for not having enough time for them and you catch yourself trying to compensate it by offering them material objects instead. Sounds familiar?
8 Steps to become an empowering conscious parent:
- Realize what kind of fear might influence the ways you interact with your child(ren).
- Learn how to trust love and the wisdom it brings.
- Forgive yourself for having been a parent not as perfect as you would have wished to be.
- Acknowledge your own Inner Child and its, partly unfulfilled, needs as well as old wounds, and heal them through self-love.
- Get to know and see your children beyond the obvious: their soul and spirit, true gifts, innate talents and wishes they were born with. Let them show you who they are and what they need, so that you can nurture them, instead of projecting your expectations onto them.
- Raise the level of consciousness by increasing your intuition and allow love to guide you, while creating clear boundaries without a sense of guilt.
- Accept the fact that we meet our parents and children for a reason and what we can learn from each other.
- Develop new forms of interacting and being there for each other.
Not sure how to tackle some of the steps?
You are welcome to book a session so that we address your personal situation and go through all the 8 Steps together, exploring and addressing what your particular situation requires of you. You are worthy of having the most loving and empowering relationship with your children, so let’s make it work beautifully – empowering, joyful and guilt-free!
In addition, I offer “Healing Your Inner Child” program based on ACIM to groups and individuals who in particular want to come into peace with their past, applying a powerful and efficient spiritual approach, which helps you to perceive your own wholeness, heal the old pain and, as the result, make your relationship with your child empowering and fulfilling for both of you.